A Case of the Hiccups
by MissAnimation
Summary: A series of oneshots about or revolving around Hiccup. Everyone is bound to get the Hiccups once in their life. Hiccup/Astrid. Formerly 'You Like Him'
1. You Like Him

**This idea has been lurking in my head for a while. Just a oneshot. Enjoy.

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Ruffnut and Astrid were so different that hardly anybody who didn't know them could believe they were best friends. But it was their differences that brought them together. Astrid was a pretty girl with bright blue eyes and lovely blonde hair, but if you got her mad-it was best to sleep with one eye open. Ruffnut could make a grown man turn pale with fear with her harsh glare and her scuffles with her brother were hardly a secret to the village. However, Ruffnut loved flowers and trying out new hairstyles and other girly things nobody would suspect her of (except Astrid, her secret keeper).

This day, Ruffnut was sewing some cloth together while Astrid paced angrily back and forth across the room. She was fuming over Hiccup…again.

"It's just not _natural! _It just shouldn't happen!" she growled. Ruffnut glanced up.

"What shouldn't happen?"

_"Hiccup!"_ Astrid screeched. And just like that, Ruffnut's imagination went wild. "He barely even touched that Nadder and everybody was fawning over him at dinner the other night!" Yes, that had been impressive to Ruffnut. She was one of the ones talking to Hiccup that night at dinner.

It had all started that day he had backed the Zippleback into the cage. Since then, Ruffnut's mind had been littered with thoughts of Hiccup, Hiccup, Hiccup. She had watched him at dinner that night out of the corner of her eye. He hadn't stayed long-wolfed down more food than she thought he was capable of and headed out again-but he had been the main topic of conversation amongst the teens. Everyone thought it was a one-time thing and that the Zipplebacks must've not liked the smell of the forge on Hiccup. Until he brought down the Gronckle, that is.

"More and more people from the village come out every week to watch _him!_" Astrid complain. "I don't think he's even used a weapon on them! Yet somehow, the dragons either quiver in fear or turn to _mush_ when they get within ten feet of him!" That was what really impressed Ruffnut. He had managed to make a Gronckle turn into an overgrown kitten. That was when Ruffnut's thoughts when from intrigue to admiration. She'd see him in the village and she'd run at him with an almighty battle cry and tackle him to the ground.

_"Ruff, what was that for?" Hiccup wheezed as he pushed himself back up from the dirt. Ruffnut shrugged and leaned in a little, smiling._

_ "That's just my way of saying 'Hello, and have a nice day!'" she explained in a husky, suggestive voice._

Tuffnut had snickered when he witnessed the incident. Really, that was Ruffnut's warped way of letting someone know she liked them. Since then, Ruffnut would tackle him on an almost daily basis. She also tried conversation-mainly asking him about what kind of work he had done lately in the shop and if he had any more inventions planned. There had also been an attempt at the more traditional flirting, but Hiccup had only asked if she had something in her eye when she batted her eyelashes at him.

_Mrs. Ruffnut Haddock. Mrs. Hiccup Haddock. Mrs. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third. Mr. and Mrs. Haddock. Mr. and Mrs. Hiccup Haddock. Hiccup and Ruffnut Haddock._

Now it seemed all Ruffnut did was have fantasies and make impossible plans about how she could get Hiccup and herself alone together. Hiccup and her, alone in the shop. Hiccup and her, staying up late to talk in the Great Hall. Ruffnut, taking Hiccup throwing him down on the ground and riding him like a-

_"Are you even listening to me?"_ Astrid demanded shrilly. Ruffnut looked up to see her friend red-faced and looking murderous. She shrugged.

"Yeah, I heard. You don't like Hiccup and I think he's a stud muffin," she replied simply. Astrid let out a scream of frustration and sat down on the bench, face in her hands.

"What're you making anyway?" she asked after she had taken a few calming breaths. Ruffnut had just finished her work a few moments earlier. She smiled proudly.

"New clothes for some new dolls," she said, almost singing. Another little known fact about Ruffnut: she still had dolls that she dressed up. She slipped the last bit of clothing on to one of the two dolls she had on the table and held them up for Astrid to see. The doll in her right hand looked a lot like Ruffnut…wearing a dress. That never happened. The doll in her left hand…no. It _couldn't _be.

"It's Hiccup and I on our wedding day!" Ruffnut explained. Astrid turned purple.

_"Ruffnut! Wake UP! It's HICCUP! HIC-CUP! He's the village screw-up! You've been tripping him since we could walk! You HATE him!"_ Now Ruffnut was mad.

"I've never _hated _Hiccup and you know it!" Ruffnut spat, standing up and getting right in Astrid's face. "Is he fun to mess with? Yes. Does he tend to make a few more mistakes than others? Yes. But I've never been intentionally mean to him. Even I know when to quit."

Astrid glared at her friend. "You only like him because he's winning in dragon training."

"And you're only jealous because you like him!" Ruffnut retorted. Astrid sputtered, unable to think of a response. Ruffnut continued. "Whenever somebody was too harsh on Hiccup you always went and beat the crap out of them. Every other guy hit on you while Hiccup kept his distance and did nice things for you. I know he was the one who made you your axe for your birthday! You've always liked him but you've always been better than him at everything so you can't stand that he's finally better than you at something. But most of all: you're mad that you might've blown your chance with him. You always criticized him and you probably just thought it was tough love. But when you blew up at him a couple weeks ago-that was it for him. He's hardly said two words to you since. Hiccup's given up on you and you can't stand it!"

Ruffnut stood there, chest heaving, glaring at her best friend. Astrid glared back with equal intensity. Without a word, Astrid stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her. Ruffnut sighed and went back to her dolls. Astrid would come around and she'd realize she was wrong. Of course, that day would probably be when Ruffnut and Hiccup exchanged vows.

Hm…_Mrs. Ruffnut Haddock…_

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**I couldn't help but think during the movie that Astrid not only disliked not having anybody pay attention to her but maybe she was also upset that Hiccup wasn't paying much attention to her either. He always made attempts to be nice to her which she always brushed off. She did try and give him some constructive criticism at dinner after the first day of training with the Gronckle and even her blow up at him after fighting off the Nadder could just be interpreted as her trying to get him to realize he needs to get his head in the game. But still, her words were harsh so that might be a reason why she looked to see where he was going after the bonfire (Hiccup left without making any attempt to talk to her!) So while most of Astrid's rage was because Hiccup was better than her at something, I think a tiny bit of it may have been Astrid having _some _feelings for Hiccup. Just a theory.**


	2. The Origins of Snowboarding

**Hooray, I'm continuing this! The name of the story has been changed to "A Case of the Hiccups" and it will be random oneshots that can take place before or after the events of the movie. This one is based on the "Viking Games" videos that Dreamworks released around the time of the Winter Olympics. If you haven't seen them, go to Youtube. Enjoy this oneshot!**

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"What is it?" Snotlout asked. He was staring, like the rest of the teenagers, at the wooden board in Hiccup's hands. Toothless was sniffing at it curiously. It was an invention Hiccup had thought up the week before, and after various sketches, he finally put it together and was ready to take it for a test drive. The wooden board was oblong-shaped with a special metal contraption for Hiccup to lock his prosthetic in to. However, nobody could figure out what it was for.

"Well, I don't know what to call it yet," Hiccup admitted.

"What're you gonna do with it?" Ruffnut asked what they had all been thinking.

"Stand on it and go downhill," Hiccup answered simply. "I should be able to get a lot of speed out of it."

Astrid rolled her eyes. "So your plan consists of going downhill. That's it?"

Hiccup looked sheepish. "I wanted to make it to the bottom…"

"At least wear a helmet," Astrid insisted.

"I don't need a helmet." In truth, Hiccup just didn't want to wear the "breast hat."

"When you're going down a mountain with big rocks for you to crack your head on you do."

"I'll avoid the rocks!"

"You don't know how much you'll be able to steer that thing!"

"Yes, I do! I designed it so I know how to steer it."

"Would you just put on a helmet!"

"I don't need-"

"SHUT UP!" Ruffnut yelled, cutting them off. "Astrid, stop with all the worrying, it's annoying. Hiccup, just wear a damn helmet before Astrid forces it on you."

Hiccup flushed red. "Fine, I'll wear a stupid helmet." Astrid kissed him on the cheek and smiled.

"Thank you," she said.

* * *

Two hours, three unsuccessful test runs, one semi-successful test run, a crash, and a dislocated shoulder later, Hiccup was lying in bed. Toothless was downstairs by the fire. Astrid was furious. She stomped into his room, threw a pillow in his face and stomped back downstairs. Stoick had gone to one of the neighboring islands on business and wouldn't be back for a few days so it was up to Astrid to take care of Hiccup.

Hiccup was beginning to think he'd prefer his dad.

A healer had snapped his shoulder back in place, bandaged him up, and instructed him to lie in bed and not overexert himself for a few days. This meant no going to the forge.

Hiccup took the pillow from his lap where it had fallen, and did his best to reach around the back with his good arm and put it behind him. At least it had been his right shoulder that popped out of place.

Astrid came back into the room with two cups of tea. One she thrust into Hiccup's hand, the other, she kept for herself. She sat down at the foot of his bed and sipped, glaring at the contraption in the corner. Fishlegs called it a "snowboard." Tuffnut called Hiccup's crash a "wipeout." Astrid called the whole thing stupid, among other things.

"Thanks for taking care of me," Hiccup said quietly. Astrid muttered something that sounded strangely like "idiot" but in the circumstances, Hiccup decided that she really meant "It's no trouble."

"You just _had _to invent something to kill yourself with," Astrid continued. Hiccup rolled his eyes and set down his cup of tea.

"Yeah, it's not like I heard any of your ranting while Toothless took me to the healer or while they were snapping my shoulder back in place…" Hiccup trailed off at Astrid's glare. He still had his hand reached out for the prosthetic resting beside his bed.

"What are you _doing?_" Astrid asked slowly. Hiccup shrunk back into his pillows.

"I was going to make some dinner for myself," he said quietly. Astrid shook her head.

"No. The healer said for you to rest. _I'll_ go make you something if you would just sit still for ten seconds." She came over to Hiccup's side to grab his cup of tea, but Hiccup grabbed her arm. _"What?" _Astrid demanded. Hiccup said nothing. He just pulled Astrid closer so he could give her a one-armed hug. Astrid was stiff and refused to give into it.

"I'm sorry I worried you," he apologized.

"I wasn't worried!" Astrid protested. She hesitated for a moment before wrapping her arms around his waist. "Just don't do it again."

"Come on, Astrid. That just wouldn't be me if I didn't get everybody worried every once in a while."

Astrid pushed herself away and walked out of the bedroom. "You're annoying!" she called back over her shoulder.

Hiccup smiled. "Love you, too," he muttered quietly. If only he had the guts to say that to Astrid.

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**So, any other oneshots of Hiccup you'd like to see? I know with the first oneshot, people wanted to see more jealousy and such with that oh so lovely Hiccup-Astrid-Ruffnut love triangle. But is there anything else?**


	3. Astrid's Birthday

**This one was requested by Christopher Scott. I hope you all enjoy it. This is quite possibly my shortest author's note ever. But that's because I'm saving everything I _really _want to say for the end! Enjoy the oneshot!

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"Hey, Gobber," Astrid greeted, leaning in to the shop window. Gobber the Belch was busy sharpening swords.

"Astrid," he said, not looking up from his work.

"My parents said they had an order that needed to be picked up," Astrid said, explaining her reason for being there.

"O' course. Well, I'm busy right now, but yeh can come inside and sit down." Astrid hopped through the shop window and sat down on a table, taking in all the weapons on the walls. She'd much rather be anywhere else, celebrating her birthday with Ruffnut by either sparring or doing something actually _girly_. Why not? She was fourteen, now, and she should be allowed to be girly every once in a while.

Fourteen was a very special age in Berk. Now she'd be allowed out during dragon raids to help put out fires around the village. She was just one step closer to dragon training! Speaking of which…

"Gobber, when is-" she began to ask.

"I told yeh before, lass," Gobber interrupted. "Training doesn't start 'til the end of summer, sometimes even later than that." She had been pestering him about letting her into the dragon training class early since she was ten. But _no_, he was making her _wait_.

A skinny boy came into the shop in a green tunic. "Hey, Gobber," he said. Of course, it was Gobber's apprentice Hiccup.

Astrid would never admit it, but she was a little jealous of Hiccup. He'd been working in the blacksmith shop for every dragon raid since he was ten. If _he _could contribute, why couldn't she?

Unfortunately, the boy had the nerve to be four months older than her, so Astrid was feeling a little resentful to him on top of her jealousy.

"How'd it go?" Gobber asked.

"They just want a simple design for the sword," Hiccup said nonchalantly, putting some weapons back up on the wall, his back to Astrid. "I sketched it out for Mr. Geirson, he approved, and the rest is history."

"Great," Gobbber said, setting the last of the swords aside. "Now I need yeh to deliver a box of nails to the Ingermans. But could yeh take care of the Hofferson order, first?"

Hiccup nodded, brushing his hands off on his apron. "Sure, I'll head over there right now," he said enthusiastically.

Gobber laughed. "Yeh mean yeh haven't noticed Astrid here the whole time?" Hiccup whirled around, spotted Astrid, and jumped about a foot in the air, surprised. He then stood up straighter, nervously tousled his hair, cleared his throat and said, "Uh, um…hi. Hi, Astrid."

His voice was deeper. "Hi, Hiccup," Astrid replied. The boy's face broke into a smile. Astrid looked down and played with her braid. Something was wrong with her. Seeing Hiccup smile made her heart beat a little faster and made her want to smile, too.

"Go get the order, then," Gobber barked at Hiccup, causing the latter to jump. Hiccup walked past Astrid, glancing at her as he did so, and went into the back room.

"Dad said it was a sword or a shield," Astrid mentioned. She heard Hiccup knocking something over in the back room and say a word that she would never expect from him.

"What did I say about swearin' in the shop?" Gobber yelled.

"To only do it when I get horribly burned," Hiccup yelled back. Gobber nodded, satisfied.

"Well, lass," Gobber said, changing his hand to a hammer. "I don't know about a _sword _or a _shield, _but I _do _know that your father came in 'ere askin' for an _axe _for his girl on her birthday." Astrid jumped off the table, eyes wide in excitement. _No way! _She had been set up and deceived by her parents but right now, she didn't care. She was getting a weapon of her very own.

Hiccup walked out of the back room, standing as straight as possible with a look of determination on his face-probably making sure he didn't trip. The axe was a double-bladed battle axe. The blades together were probably bigger than her head and shone like new. The sharp edge of the axe glinted from the light of the fire in the forge. Strips of leather were wrapped around part of the smooth wood handle.

Wordlessly Hiccup held it out to her.

Astrid took the axe from him, her fingers brushing against his hands, and weighed it and twirled it in her hands. Hiccup seemed to be waiting for her to say something. But what was she supposed to say? Thanks for giving me this axe from Gobber? Right now, she was too busy examining it from all angles.

"Alright, now go deliver that box of nails," Gobber ordered. Hiccup sighed.

"Happy birthday," he told Astrid. Looking dejected, Hiccup picked up the box and left the shop. Astrid finally stopped admiring the axe after a few minutes.

"Thank you, Gobber," Astrid said, finally smiling. "I've never seen a better weapon." Gobber snorted.

"Don' thank _me,"_ he told her. "Hiccup's the one who's been stayin' up all night until nearly dawn to make sure the axe was perfect and ready for your birthday." Astrid immediately felt horribly guilty. Hiccup had been waiting for a word of her approval for all that work he had put in for her and she had said nothing. She'd noticed him some mornings with bloodshot eyes and a sluggish pace, but had she known it was because of _her…_

Why did such a great present have to come with her feeling so horrible about it?

"Oh," Astrid muttered. She reached in the pouch on her skirt for some coins. "Here's the payment for Hiccup, I guess."

Gobber sighed. "Actually, the lad said he'd do the job free, just for you-yehr birthday," Gobber corrected quickly. The correction didn't help. Whether Hiccup had done it for her or her birthday, Astrid felt completely horrible. She didn't know what to do with the coins now. The coins and the axe felt heavy in her hands.

"I'll tell yeh what," Gobber said in a decisive manner, plucking the coins from Astrid's hand, "I know where Hiccup's stash of coins is at his house. Next time I'm there, I'll add these. Now we know he didn't do all that work for nothin'."

"It wasn't for nothing," Astrid sighed. She left the shop to thank her parents for ordering this axe for her.

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Hiccup was leaving the shop much earlier than he had been the past week. He was still feeling down. Astrid had said nothing about the axe he had worked so hard on and Gobber had sent him away before she could. Maybe she would've been impressed if he had gotten the chance to tell her that _he _had been the one to make her present. Or maybe she would automatically hate it because it came from Hiccup the Useless.

The latter seemed more likely.

He sighed and kicked a stone as he walked to the Great Hall. Everybody would be there now and his stomach was growling for a decent meal. In the darkness, he heard something whizzing close by in the air. The axe he had made wedged itself in the wall in front of him, making him stop dead in his tracks.

Sure, he may have been _teased _every once in a while for his antics but nobody had outright tried to _kill him_.

As Hiccup stared at the axe, fearing that his life was about to be taken away, a pair of hands came up and easily wrenched it out of the wood. He looked up and saw Astrid, smiling at the weapon in her hands.

"Gobber said you made it," Astrid said, still looking at the axe.

"So why'd you try to kill me with it?" Hiccup asked, getting over the shock.

Astrid rolled her eyes. "I wasn't going to kill you. I only wanted to get your attention."

"You couldn't have just said 'hey'?"

Astrid ignored that and looked him right in the eye. "Thanks for the axe. It's probably the best one in the village." Hiccup looked infinitely happier at her words. "And since you stayed up late for me-and if you ever do that again, I'll throw you off a cliff-I'll get you something for your birthday next year."

Happiness swelled in Hiccup's chest. "You-you don't have to do that. It's no big deal…" He felt something warm press against his cheek for a second. Shocked, he realized that Astrid had given him a kiss on the cheek.

"Tell _anybody_ I did that, and I will kill you with _this_," Astrid threatened, waving the axe in his face for good measure, but there was no way to hide the blush on her face. She turned and ran from him.

"Thanks again for the axe!" she called back. Even though it wasn't _his _birthday, Hiccup was sure that this was the best birthday ever.

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**Muhaha! I'm mean and didn't include Hiccup's birthday! Possibly, there will be a sequel oneshot later on. I have some ideas in my head, but I'm willing to hear yours, too. Thanks for reading!**

**Also, I'm going to start posting links to my HTTYD fan-videos in my profile so make sure to check back there. Yes, I make fan-videos, too. I am a NERD for this series. **

**I just recently found out that Hiccup's birthday is the twenty-ninth of February (correct me if I'm wrong) and he was apparently around fourteen in the movie.**


	4. Black Eye

**This idea popped into my head and wouldn't go away. It's cute, or at least I think so. It's also partially inspired by the fact that there's only ONE WEEK LEFT UNTIL THE DVD RELEASE (PLUS THE BONUS _LEGEND OF THE BONEKNAPPER _MOVIE!) So, enjoy this oneshot!

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"You _promised!" _Astrid growled. She was currently right in the face of her boyfriend Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III. Oh, yeah, she was also pissed off enough for everybody in the village to know to stay _far _away from her. Hiccup, however, had to endure her wrath.

"For weeks and _weeks_ you've been cooped up with stupid projects and orders in the shop! Then today, the day you _promised me _we would hang out, you have the nerve to say you're _busy?" _

Beneath all the anger, frustration, and axe-throwing, the truth was that Astrid just missed her boyfriend. Summer was just around the corner and she only wanted to go flying with him or just lying in the grass and watching the clouds. His projects had never taken this long before. Hiccup was always one to get projects and orders done quickly so he could move on to something else. But this one he was _obsessed _with! He'd drive himself crazy before he perfected it.

Hiccup sighed, trying to stay calm. Usually, he'd be kicking his own butt over this, but there was nothing he could do. Plus, what he had to do today was important! "Astrid, I wouldn't cancel on you if I wasn't absolutely _needed _to help out today! I have to!"

That didn't help Astrid's temper. "It's a _house,_ Hiccup! People _volunteer _to help build it! You didn't _have _to volunteer! You could've said 'no.'"

Hiccup frowned. "You know my Dad asked me to make the blueprints for that house. They need me there to help out."

Astrid took a step back and shook her head. "No, actually. I didn't know that your Dad asked you to make blueprints for a house. That doesn't surprise me, though. You've hardly said two words to me in the past three weeks! You won't even let me see what you're working on! You _always _ask for my opinion!"

Hiccup did have the habit of showing her sketches of what he was working on and she'd always give him some valuable advice. He'd even seek her out wherever she was in the village just for an opinion on a sword, axe, or dagger. Now it was rare if she saw him out of the shop at all. He had even taken to eating meals in there. She was sure now that he was avoiding her.

Hiccup huffed angrily. "You don't need to see what I'm working on! I don't have to show you everything!"

"Fine! Don't show me anything! When was the last time we _talked, _or hung out, or did _anything together? _You never want to do anything anymore!"

Hiccup exploded. _"I told you that I'm busy and I have things to work on! I'm sorry but I can't hang out with you today so you're just going to have to do something else and GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY!"_ Hiccup didn't even have time to catch his breath before Astrid's fist made contact with the side of his head. As Hiccup lay dazed on the ground, he watched four Astrids running angrily away. Then he passed out.

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Ruffnut found Astrid. Of _course _Ruffnut found her. She always did whenever Astrid was trying not to tear through the village on a murderous rampage. Whenever Astrid _was _like that, it was usually left up to either her Nadder, Hiccup, or Ruffnut to seek her out and calm her down. Today her Nadder was too scared to come close and Hiccup probably _would _be killed if he came close to her now, he was keeping his distance, too.

Astrid was slashing trees left and right with her axe, emitting a scream with each swing. She was beginning to sound hoarse. Finally she whirled around and saw Ruffnut standing there, basket over her shoulder, looking bored. Astrid was panting.

"How-how did you find me?" she asked, gulping for air. Ruffnut pointed behind herself at all the trees that were splintered and mangled.

"I followed the trail of murdered trees," she explained. Astrid, for the first time that day, actually took a look at the damage she had done. She hadn't realized there had been so much.

"So where's Tuff?" Astrid asked, sitting down on a log. Ruffnut sat down next to Astrid, looking happy to get the basket off her back.

"He's working on that new house with Snotlout and Fishlegs…and Hiccup." Astrid's hands flew up to her ears.

"I don't want to hear about him!" Astrid hissed angrily. After a moment she dropped her hands.

"He's got an impressive black eye," Ruffnut complimented. Astrid grunted. "I also heard him say something about needing to talk to you."

"Yeah, well, like I care!" Astrid snapped. _"Now _he wants to come find me? _Now _he wants to talk to me? Well maybe I don't feel like talking right now! Let's see how _he _likes it when _I'm _too busy to talk to him!"

Astrid drew her knees to her chest and buried her face. "I know I'm sounding really whiny. I know I do, but is it so horrible that I want to spend some time with my boyfriend? He used to invite me to sit in the shop just to spend time with me. Now he has Toothless guarding the place so I can't come anywhere near."

"Speaking of your boyfriend," Ruffnut said, "he said he was going to try and find you when everyone was done working on that house for today…which should be in about five minutes." Astrid turned pale. She had to get back to her house _now_. Of _course _her dragon was nowhere nearby.

"You can crash at my house, if you want. I'll beat Tuff into secrecy," Ruffnut offered, looking delighted at the prospect. Her fingers twitched. Astrid looked desperately back in the direction of the village.

"My things…" she muttered. Ruffnut nudged the basket with her foot.

"I snuck into your house and grabbed some necessities. A few changes of clothes, a comb, et cetera. So are we just going to sit here or are we going to try and book it for my house?" Astrid grabbed her axe, Ruffnut grabbed the basket, and they ran for the village.

Everybody was finishing up the work for the day, so they had to push their way through several people with polite "excuse me's" from Astrid and some not-so-polite but rather blunt "move it's!" from Ruffnut.

"Come on, this way!" Ruffnut urged, cutting through an alley. Astrid kept glancing around for anybody that might spot her and then tell Hiccup where she was. Nobody seemed to acknowledge her, thank the gods. They pushed through another few people. Ruffnut's house could be seen in the distance now.

"Almost there!" Ruffnut cheered. Astrid let out her own whoop of excitement. She looked out of the corner of her eye and fear swelled up inside her chest. Toothless could be seen in a nearby field. Where Toothless was, Hiccup wasn't far behind. The only exception had been this morning. Toothless certainly hadn't been there to prevent Hiccup from getting a black eye.

_Don't spot me, don't spot me! _Astrid silently pleaded. "Move faster!" she hissed to Ruffnut. The other girl obliged and the two began sprinting towards the hill that Ruffnut's house sat upon. Astrid looked back. She could see Toothless wriggle in excitement before bounding in her direction. Astrid swore under her breath.

"Toothless is chasing after us!" Astrid warned. The girls pushed themselves to run even faster. _Why _did Ruffnut have to live on a hill? It wasn't like the hill Hiccup lived on, but at least _that _hill had steps. This one had rocks to avoid.

With a war cry, Ruffnut ran to her door, almost crashing right through in her effort to open it. Astrid tumbled inside. She saw Ruff slam the door just before Toothless got to it. Ruffnut dropped to the floor, panting in exhaustion.

"Just _what _would Toothless have done if he had caught you?" Ruffnut demanded.

Astrid rolled her eyes. "He's in cahoots with Hiccup. For all I know, he would've dragged me back to him. Or give me a bath. But I think the first option is more likely under the circumstances." Ruffnut gave a wheeze-like laugh.

"Astrid!" a voice called from outside. Both girls scowled. It was _Hiccup_. "Astrid! Come on, Astrid, I need to talk to you!" They heard Toothless grumble in agreement. Ruffnut grabbed a sword and a ball of yarn and stomped to the door.

"What're you doing?" Astrid asked curiously. Ruffnut opened the front door. Astrid could see Toothless and Hiccup quickly making their way up the hill.

"I was thinking of playing fetch," Ruffnut said, shrugging.

* * *

Astrid liked spending time with Ruffnut. For a while, they could both drop the tough warrior girl attitude and just be girls. Like now, Astrid was cleaned up, in her night clothes (a light-weight tunic and some leggings), and sitting cross-legged and slumped over the side of the bed while Ruffnut brushed her hair.

Evidently, Toothless had been told to keep an eye out for Astrid and to come get Hiccup when he found her. Astrid hadn't known how close Ruffnut's house was to the new house Hiccup was helping to build. The young man and dragon had to be chased away by Ruffnut. The ball of yarn was for Toothless to chase after. The sword was enough warning for Hiccup and he hobbled away, calling Toothless pathetic the whole time.

"We could go make something in the kitchen if you're hungry," Ruff offered. Astrid shook her head. She wasn't hungry, she was just feeling tired and miserable (and guilty now for hitting Hiccup) and she wanted nothing more than to curl up and go to sleep.

Astrid climbed under the covers and buried her face into a pillow. "This day can't get any worse," she decided. Downstairs, the front door could be heard opening and closing.

"Ruff!" Tuffnut called. Ruffnut groaned.

"It just did!" she whispered to Astrid. "Go away, troll breath!"

Tuffnut ignored her and kept shouting to her from downstairs. "So, you know that house I went to work on today? Hiccup was being so anal about every last detail on that house today. It got annoying, but I didn't feel like punching him-he's had enough of that for today so Lout, Legs, and me took him aside and told him we'd throw him off a cliff if he didn't tell us why he was acting crazy. So he told us and it turns out that the house is supposed to be _his._ _His _and _Astrid's_." Astrid's jaw dropped in shock. _What did Tuffnut just say?_

"Apparently Stoick has been working out the contract with her parents for a while now. Then before the Hoffersons would finalize the contract, they've been working Hiccup to death at the shop for a month now. He's been making _everything_: hammers, swords, daggers, a few saddles, and he worked on sketches of his house for a while until he was sure Astrid would like it. And this whole time, Hiccup's known and hasn't been allowed to say a thing to her. But Stoick is at the Hofferson's now finalizing the contract so Astrid will know by morning. Which is good because Hiccup was being a baby today and was all _'Astrid's pissed as Hel at me! How am I going to make the rings now!_' But-" Tuffnut froze in the doorway of Ruffnut's bedroom when he saw Astrid.

"Oh, crap," said Tuffnut. "Hiccup's going to murder me!" Ruffnut snorted.

"That won't happen! Hiccup will get Toothless to murder you for him, of course," Ruffnut clarified. Tuffnut shook his head.

"No, I'm pretty sure Hiccup will kill me. He's always looked like that silent killer type." Tuffnut looked genuinely scared. Astrid buried her face in the pillow again.

"I _can't believe _I gave my _future husband_ a _black eye,"_ she groaned. Ruffnut scoffed.

"Please. Just wait until you two start having babies. You'll do more than give him black eyes during pregnancy."

* * *

**See? Hiccup had a good reason for avoiding Astrid! He just didn't want to accidentally blurt out the good news. No need, though. Tuffnut did that for him. Astrid feels bad for hitting Hiccup. Hiccup feels equally bad for yelling at her, but it was only out of frustration that he couldn't just come out and say "We're getting married, okay!" I however, only feel a little bad for cutting it off here and not giving you guys the extra-cutesy scene you were all waiting for. That will be in the NEXT oneshot!**


	5. Thoughts on Marriage

**PART TWO! HUZZAH! Why did I say "huzzah"? Whatever. Enjoy the chapter!

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**

Astrid wasn't _avoiding _Hiccup. No, not at all. If anybody told you that she was, then, they were crazy. Astrid Hofferson was not avoiding or hiding from Hiccup Haddock. She was just a little too embarrassed to look him in the eye which resulted in her turning in the other direction and running away every time he spotted her, creeping around the village like a spy to try and make sure their paths didn't cross, and spending most of her days indoors or away from the village just so she wouldn't get trapped actually having to _talk _with him.

Astrid's parents had told her about the engagement the morning after she had slept at Ruffnut's.

"Is it true you made him work on a lot of projects before you would agree to finalize the contract?" Astrid had asked. Her mother snorted.

"Oh, that boy takes everything too seriously," she said, pouring some tea into a mug. "I only said it _jokingly._ Well, not really, we really did need some of those things, but he could've waited until after the wedding for almost everything."

Astrid scowled at her mother. "Did you ever think of telling _him _that?" Mrs. Hofferson shrugged and then continued reciting details of the contract.

Now she was sitting in her house with Ruffnut. Astrid's Nadder stood guard at the door to avoid certain red-headed boys from trying to talk with her. Toothless might try and find them soon. Ever since the incident at Ruffnut's house, Toothless thought of her as the supplier of all things yarn and was always whining at her with big eyes.

In preparation for the wedding, most of Astrid's time spent at home was copying down recipes, sewing up patches in her clothes, or working on the linens that were to be a part of the house for her and her husband-to-be.

Ruffnut was scowling at the sheet in her hands for the past hour. "I can't believe I'm touching this! Knowing what's gonna happen to the poor thing..."

Astrid turned red. "Shut up."

"You can't avoid it. The wedding's coming up in a couple of weeks. You can't avoid talking to Hiccup for much longer, either." There it was: another crazy person telling Astrid that she was avoiding Hiccup.

And she was right.

"I know," Astrid sighed. "I should talk to him, I really should, but it's just…"

"Awkward because you punched him in the face for going to Hel and back for you?"

The bride-to-be frowned at her friend. "Thank you for putting it so eloquently and _yes_ that's exactly why I haven't talked to him yet.

Ruffnut finished off her last stitch, looking proud of the work she had done. "Relax, Astrid. So you punched the guy that you're head over heels for. Big deal! I punch Fishlegs all the time and he gets over it like _that_." Ruffnut snapped her fingers for emphasis.

Astrid blinked. "Since when do you like Fishlegs?" Ruffnut froze.

"You done with your sewing over there, yet?" she sputtered out. Astrid bit her lip and did her best to choke back a laugh. She managed to nod. They folded the sheet in silence; both girls were deep in thought. Astrid was most _definitely _not thinking about Hiccup and Ruffnut would punch you if you accused her of thinking of Fishlegs.

"So have you thought about the wedding or your life after it at _all?_" Ruffnut asked, taking the folded sheet away from her friend. Astrid shook her head. Ruffnut rolled her eyes in doubt. "Uh-huh. What do you want the kids to look like?"

"Redheads would be nice," Astrid replied without hesitation. "The odds are they'll be redheads!" she pointed out defensively when Ruffnut snickered.

"Is there anything else we need to sew?" Ruffnut asked, looking unpleased at the prospect. Astrid shook her head.

"I'm kind of sick of sewing right now. Maybe later, we'll get started on some pillows."

Ruffnut nodded happily. "That sounds great. I need to get out, see the village-"

"Hit Fishlegs?" Astrid asked, grinning. Ruffnut glared at her.

"Be careful, or I might just hit _you._" Astrid giggled, opening the front door for Ruffnut. Outside, Astrid's Nadder was growling at Toothless, making sure he kept his distance. Toothless was looking despondent, but once he spotted Ruffnut, his eyes lit up and he started running in circles excitedly, tongue flopped out.

"Oh, boy," Ruffnut groaned. She took a ball of yarn out of her vest pocket-she had been anticipating this moment. Toothless looked ready to burst. "Hey! Snotlout!" Ruffnut called to the boy who was walking past. "Think fast!" She threw the yarn at him, smirking when he actually caught it.

"Ruffnut? What are-AHHH!" Snotlout was running for his life with a Night Fury hot on his tail. He probably wouldn't get the hint to drop the yarn for a long while. Ruffnut waved goodbye and went on her way. Astrid stood in the doorway of her home, taking in the peaceful scenery-not counting the terrified screams of Snotlout-of the village around her. Astrid was suddenly struck with the thought that her time here was limited. She had been in this house-except for the times it had to be rebuilt-her whole life. Soon she'd be living in her own house, just her and Hiccup. The thought made her happy and sad all at once.

She needed to take a walk.

She left her Nadder behind and ignored everybody telling her congratulations. Ruffnut had told her that she needed to think about all of this and by the Gods she was going to go think about it. She ended up sitting under a lone tree by a wheat field. She closed her eyes and rested her head in the grass. Now she could think.

Should she still feel bad for punching Hiccup? Yes, she should, but Hiccup was Hiccup and had probably already forgiven her.

With that knowledge, should she have already gone to talk to Hiccup? Yes, but the thought is always so much easier than the action.

Marriage: how did she feel about it? She had never wanted to be married when she was a little girl. All the boys were stupid and they would think they could control her if they married her. Her ambition was to be a dragon killer and nothing more.

How did she feel about being married to Hiccup? Well, Hiccup definitely wasn't just another one off the boys in the village. He had a big heart, he was creative, he was funny-sometimes without meaning to be-, and he would be a great chief of the Hairy Hooligan tribe one day.

A gentle hand touched Astrid's shoulder. Her eyes blinked open to, of course, Hiccup sitting down next to her. She had drifted off to sleep without meaning to. Toothless was nearby, trying to look casual, but Astrid knew he had probably found her and then fetched Hiccup. Even the Night Fury couldn't be distracted by a ball of yarn for long.

"Did you have a nice nap?" Hiccup asked, stretching out in the grass beside her. After six days, small traces of a bruise beneath his left eye still remained. Astrid reached out and touched it gently. Guilt welled up in her again, but the smile on Hiccup's lips made her feel like she was already forgiven. Still, she had to make sure.

"I'm sorry about your eye," Astrid apologized. Sure enough, Hiccup shrugged it off.

"Don't worry about it. It doesn't hurt anymore. Plus, I can see only one of you right now, so I'm all better." Hiccup was grinning from ear to ear. Astrid rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Hiccup said. The smile was gone. "I shouldn't have done it," he continued. "Stress and sleep deprivation are a bad combination, apparently, and unfortunately I took it out on you when I really didn't want to and when you didn't deserve it."

Astrid kissed his forehead. "My parents caused all that stress. If I had known anything I would've gotten them to butt out."

Hiccup still wasn't smiling. "You've been avoiding me."

Astrid played with a blade of grass. "Yes," she answered slowly. "I was just feeling a little awkward...maybe a little embarrassed."

Hiccup sighed. "About being married to me?" he asked in an impossibly small voice. "Well, that's okay, then. You don't have to be married to me. You could run away if you want to get out of the contract. Or I'll run away if you really want to stay on Berk. Or we could get married and you could divorce me right after the honeymoon is over and we wouldn't even have to do anything on the honeymoon. We could just lie and say we did. The point is that I would never want to force you into a marriage you didn't want to be in."

There was the last factor about Hiccup that Astrid hadn't thought of earlier. He understood that she couldn't be controlled or told what to do. A couple never really got to have a choice when marriage contracts were drawn up, but Hiccup was defying tradition again and giving her a choice.

Astrid rolled over on top of him and left a trail of kisses all over his face before finally getting to his lips. They stayed like that for a while, kissing each other thoroughly while their hands wandered over each other. They broke apart and Astrid rolled off Hiccup, but stayed tucked into his side while Hiccup kept an arm around her.

"That was because I do want to marry you," Astrid informed him. She socked him in the arm. Hiccup jerked in pain

"And that was for…?" Hiccup asked.

"For thinking that I didn't." Hiccup was feeling stupid. "I felt awkward and embarrassed because I gave you a black eye and I didn't find out until afterwards _why _you had so little free time."

Hiccup kissed Astrid gently. "Don't worry about hitting me. I already told you that I'm fine. Besides, Ruffnut hits Fishlegs all the time and he gets over pretty fast. I can get over it, too."

Astrid laughed. "Discreet" was not a word in Ruffnut's vocabulary. Hiccup stood up and offered a hand to Astrid.

"Come on," he said. "I need you to try on your ring and see if it fits."


	6. Scarring Moments

**Apparently it's double update day! This has been in my head for a few days now (I blame watching too many videos of cute babies on YouTube.) Enjoy the oneshot!

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**

In the chief's house, an important milestone was trying to be reached by Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III. The drooling baby boy had managed to push himself up on his hands and knees on the bearskin rug in his home. Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to get past this step. And he so badly wanted that toy just out of his reach, too!

Hiccup rocked back and forth on the spot, lifting one arm at a time and then putting it back down, but gaining no movement. His legs were crossed at the ankles and he couldn't quite figure out how to get them untangled. His grunts and growls of frustration kept growing in frequency and volume until, finally, the baby Hiccup gave up and collapsed onto the rug, sobbing his little eyes out in frustration.

It wasn't fair! All he wanted to do was get to one place from another by himself! Was that too much to ask?

A large pair of hands scooped the baby up. Hiccup usually loved playing with his fathers' beard, but today it only quieted his sobs for a moment before he buried his face in Stoick the Vast's shoulder.

"Oh, don't worry, Hiccup," Stoick assured him, patting his young son's back. "Crawling is a hard thing to learn. But you've almost got the hang of it. Once you learn to crawl, you'll start walking not long after that, and then you'll start running-"

"And then we'll hardly be able to keep up with him," Valhallarama interrupted, descending the stairs into the room. "I leave him alone with you for five minutes and the poor dear is wailing," she teased.

"He was trying to crawl again," Stoick said, handing their son over to her. Hiccup was only whining a little now. "Don't worry, son, you'll crawl soon. You just need the proper motivation." Hiccup whined unhappily.

Valhallarama put her son back on the rug, handing him the toy he was after. He promptly stuck it in his mouth and proceeded to drool all over it.

"Are you still going out today?" Stoick asked as his wife started to throw some things for sewing in a basket.

"Yes," she said. "I want to have some girl time and Hiccup could use a playmate." Hiccup made an inquiring noise when he heard his name. The next thing he knew, Mommy had wrapped a blanket around him and he was being carried out of the house. Hiccup loved going outside! He hardly ever did since he couldn't crawl or walk or reach the handle for the door. He babbled in his own language to his mother that it was a nice day out and she looked pretty that day and they should go exploring outside more often.

"Are you excited that you're going to make a new friend today?" Valhallarama cooed to her son. Hiccup giggled and placed his hands on his mother's face. He leaned in, lips puckered, and kissed his mother right on the corner of her mouth. Hiccup had learned how to give kisses and Valhallarama couldn't be any more excited about the ones her son loved to plant on her.

They had arrived at their destination. With her free hand, Valhallarama knocked on the door of the house. Hardly a moment later, the door swung open, revealing a tall blonde woman with brown eyes and skinny as a rail.

"Valhallarama!" the blonde woman squealed. "Come in, come in! Oh, my, your Hiccup just looks darling! Those fingers are just getting so long! Oh, I love his hair and his eyes! He looks a lot like Stoick, but he has your mouth and your ears."

"Let's hope he doesn't inherit my knack for getting in trouble," Valhallarama laughed. "Where's your husband off to, today?"

Gerda Hofferson rolled her eyes. "Fishing." Ah, of course. "Come on, I got all my sewing things set up at the table. You can put Hiccup down on the rug to play."

Hiccup seemed content with this and babbled to himself and occasionally to his mother while alternately playing with or chewing on his toy. He wasn't in the mood to try crawling again.

Hiccup and his mommy had hardly been at the Hofferson's for half an hour when a blood-curdling wail echoed through the house. Gerda sighed. "That'll be Astrid," she said above the screams. "She likes to sleep in late but when she does wake up, she's not happy about it." Gerda excused herself and went upstairs. The wails eventually quieted down and were replaced with the soft coos of Gerda and some light baby babble. Gerda descended the stairs again with an extra addition on her hip.

"Oh, she is _precious!"_ Valhallarama squealed when she saw the blue-eyed, blonde-haired baby. Astrid yawned as her mother set her down on the rug. She handed Astrid an old doll to play with and went back to her sewing. Hiccup soon noticed the new addition to the room. At first he stared at the other baby at the opposite end of the rug, but the longer he stared, the bigger the smile on his face. He began to babble to baby Astrid, who remained uninterested in him. Hiccup giggled.

"Mama!" he called. He babbled and pointed at Astrid and babbled some more and giggled until he nearly fell over.

"I think he likes her," Valhallrama remarked, smiling at the scene.

"You didn't tell me Hiccup could _talk!_"

"Oh it's only a few words. Mama, Dada…"

Hiccup flopped down on his stomach as the two mothers continued their conversation. He was looking at the other baby again. A determined look came across his round little face and Hiccup pushed himself up onto his hands and knees. He finally had his motivation to crawl.

He put a hand out in front of him, and then picked a leg up behind him and brought him forward. He repeated the motion with the opposite limbs. It was working! He was moving across the rug! Gurgling happily, Hiccup kept moving toward Astrid, abandoning his precious toy behind him for the mission.

Finally, Hiccup crawled right up next to Astrid and pulled himself back up so he could sit down next to her. Astrid finally took notice of him and babbled something to him. Hiccup gurgled back, making Astrid giggle. They stayed like that for a while, playing peacefully, until Hiccup decided to take a chance. He put his hands on Astrid's face and leaned forward and kissed her right on her tiny pink lips. The two mothers couldn't imagine a sweeter scene.

Except Gerda Hofferson had neglected to mention that Astrid's little nails were as sharp as knives.

Before they could even leap up to prevent it, Hiccup was sprawled out on the rug, lungs ready to burst with his screams, and blood dribbling out of an impressive gash on his chin. Astrid was very good at pretending nothing was happening. The two mothers went to work quickly. Hiccup was scooped up in an instant by his mother while Gerda wetted a cloth. It took some time to calm him down, but he finally tired out and remained still long enough for the women to wipe the blood from him and put pressure on the wound.

"The lad will recover," Gerda said, looking at the gash. "But he'll probably have a scar on his chin."

"Look at the bright side, Hiccup," Valhallarama whispered to her snoozing son. "You learned to crawl and had your first kiss all in one day. Your father will be proud of this battle scar, won't he?"

* * *

"Hey, Hiccup, how'd you get that scar on your chin?" Astrid asked her boyfriend. She was sitting in the main room of the Haddock household, roasting some meat over the fire with Hiccup and his father, Stoick. Hiccup rubbed at the spot Astrid had just pointed out. He shrugged.

"I don't know. I've had it for as long as I can remember." Hiccup was surprised when his father started laughing from across the fire pit.

"Oh, I know how you got it! Your mother was there when it happened and told me the whole story. You'll appreciate this story, Astrid!"

"Which means it's going to be embarrassing for _me,_" Hiccup sighed. Oh, he had no clue.

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**Hiccup is around nine months old in this oneshot, which makes Astrid around five to six months. If any of you have the DVD, you'll notice that Hiccup has a scar on the right side of his chin (which I think is also a sign of obsession with this movie if you notice that.) Several people have made one theory or another how he got this scar, Gumdrop Boo, for instance, mentions it in her story _The Winter Haul_, and I decided to throw my own idea in.**

**Hiccup is such a late bloomer when it comes to crawling! Don't worry Hiccup, I was the same way with walking!**


	7. Pretty Girls Don't Like Me

**A super short oneshot I've been meaning to do for a while. I thought it'd be cute.**

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Hiccup didn't remember much of what happened from after the battle with the Green Death to when he finally woke up again. He did drift in and out of consciousness and he spoke a little, but these times were usually brief and he had no recollection of anything he might've said. Such was the case one evening when Stoick started wiping a cold, damp cloth on his son's face.

Hiccup's brow furrowed uncomfortably as he tried to move his head away. "Gah! What's that?"

"Healer's orders, son," Stoick said calmly. "Said to keep these scrapes on your face clean."

Hiccup's eyebrows scrunched together. "Scrapes? Did I trip again?" Stoick laughed at that. Something warm nuzzled Hiccup's face.

"He's still not awake yet," he told the dragon for the umpteenth time. Toothless huffed in annoyance. "When he comes around completely, you'll know it."

"Soup's done!" Astrid announced from the fireside. "Oh, no, it's okay, Chief. You go have some. I'll take care of Hiccup." The chair beside Hiccup's bed scraped against the floor as Stoick stood up to give the young girl his chair.

"I can't thank you enough for helping out all this time, Astrid," Stoick said, clapping a hand on her shoulder.

"It's no trouble," Astrid insisted, setting the bowl down on a little stool next to her. She reached behind Hiccup's head and lifted it up some. "Come on, Hiccup. You have to lean a up a bit."

Hiccup sighed. "Why?"

"So you don't choke on the soup."

"Do I like soup?"

Astrid bit her lip to stop from herself from laughing. "Yes you do." Hiccup was able to lift his head up a little more for Astrid. She took a spoonful of the hot liquid and brought it up to his mouth. Little by little, it disappeared down his throat. He had so much progress from that day at the dragon's nest, it was hard _not _to be optimistic that he would wake up soon.

Astrid smiled when the soup was gone and reached to get some more. Hiccup's eyes blinked open. She wasn't getting her hopes up _too _high yet. He had opened his eyes before. This was just going to be another one of those times. Hiccup's eyes traveled blearily from the beams of the ceiling to the girl sitting beside him. That's where the eyes stopped moving. He continued to stare at her as she fed him another spoonful of soup.

"Let me know when you're not hungry anymore, alright?" Astrid said. Hiccup blinked at her as the spoon returned to the bowl.

"Whoa!" he said as if he had just discovered something new and fantastic. "Whoa!" he said again. "Hey, Dad!" Hiccup called weakly, not taking his eyes off Astrid.

Stoick walked over to the foot of the bed, already amused. "Yes, son?" Hiccup grinned at him.

"There's a _girl _in our house!" Astrid couldn't help laughing at that. Neither could Stoick.

"That's Astrid, son. She's been coming by every day to check up on you."

Hiccup shook his head. "Nah, that can't be right. Girls don't like me. Especially not _beautiful _ones like Astrid." Stoick chuckled again at that. Astrid brushed Hiccup's bangs from his eyes with a sad look on her face.

"People like you," Astrid insisted. "You saved everyone's butts that pretty much guarantees admiration from the whole village. Now open up, it's time for more soup."

"Soup?" Hiccup said questioningly. "I like soup," he decided. "And Astrid. I like her, too."

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**Once again, it's short, I know, I'm sorry. This whole thing was partially inspired by the horrific experience known as wisdom teeth removal. It wasn't too horrific, actually. Anyway, when I was still pretty drugged up and being driven home, I would go "Whoa!" every time we came to a traffic light and I saw it change colors. Yes, I turned into the hippie VW van from _Cars_. Sorry for being gone so long! Finals, holidays, and relatives all piled up, but I'm back. As always, if there's any one-shot in particular you want to see, let me know.**


	8. Proud

**Author's Note: I'm back! I do have an explanation for the long wait, for now, enjoy the short one shot.**

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"Every time you step outside, _disaster _falls!" Stoick yelled at his son.

"Oh, _grow up!"_ a woman's voice yelled from the crowd. Hiccup cringed. Not this. Not _now. _One of the warrior women pushed her way through the crowd and marched right up to Stoick, her face twisted in anger.

His mom and dad had to have another argument in front of the entire village again. And once again, the argument had to be over _him_, their _son._

"It was a dragon raid! What more damage was he doing then useless brutes like you?" Valhallarama accused.

_"Usless?"_ Stoick roared. He pushed Hiccup to the side to get right up in his wife's face. "I was helping the village like I _always _do."

"Yes, smashing things like barrels and carts that people _need to use _every day by throwing them at dragons helps!" Valhallarama bit out sarcastically. "Tacking dragons through buildings is a great strategy, too. Let's not forget the time you tried to lure a Nightmare into a trap and caused the worst fire the village has ever seen!"

"I'm not listening to this!" Stoick roared.

"No, you just don't want to listen to it! Hiccup causes no more damage than anybody else! You just blame him to cover up you're disappointed that he's not an exact copy of a great big troll such as yourself!"

"I care about our son _very much, _Val!"

"But you don't love him at all! You never show it! You're just full of crap!"

Hiccup felt a tug on his sleeve. He wasn't surprised to see who was there. Astrid always appeared by his side when his parents really started going at it. Quietly, she led him away from the couple. They didn't stop arguing to ask where he was going. They never stopped arguing.

Hiccup didn't say a word the whole time. It made Astrid worried. He usually tried to crack some sort of joke to ease the tension. She reached over and squeezed his hand as they climbed the hill to his house.

"Everything will get better," she promised. Hiccup sighed and dropped her hand.

"They're going to get divorced," he said solemnly. Astrid's stomach dropped. No, it couldn't be true. That was just Hiccup being cynical.

"Hiccup, I know it seems bad, but your parents have been married for over fifteen years now. They'll work through this. They're not just going to throw it all away."

"Mom told me. She's definitely considering it," he admitted. Astrid could say nothing to that. How long had Hiccup been keeping this secret? She put a hand on his shoulder, offering comfort. The boy took a shaky breath and smiled weakly.

"But…everything's going to be fine now. I hit a Night Fury and it landed in the woods. I'm gonna go kill it and cut its heart out and take it to Dad. Then he'll be happy and he won't think I'm a screw up and Mom will be happy that Dad likes me and I'll save their marriage."

"Hiccup-" Astrid began. But Hiccup had made up his mind.

"I'm going to try and find it now. I'll…I'll make them proud. For once." He started off toward the woods. "I'll find you later and tell you how it went! You'll be proud of me, too!" he promised.

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**Author's Note: This idea popped into my head one day. Hiccup's mother is alive in the books. The books are also a very different world compared to the movie. So I wondered what _would _things be like if Valhallarama was alive in the movie? The sad, depressing thing above is my take on it. I may expand on this in later chapters.**

**Sorry about taking so long to update this. College sucked up my time and a relative of mine died in February and I was, understandably, not feeling very creative for a while. It may be another while before my next update, though. Finals are fast approaching. I will be back a lot sooner, though! Don't worry!**


	9. Fight's Gone Out

**I'm continuing with the story-within-the-story of "What if Valhallarama had been alive in the movies like she was in the books?" More angst! I may develop this further and make it its own separate story one day, but I find that a lot of the time, a re-telling of the movie through a fic can be kind of boring. Yeah, there are some pretty fantastic ones out there, but they can be annoying, too. I want to avoid being in the annoying category so the important snippets of the story will continue to be part of this oneshot series. I will get back to the funny eventually, I swear!**

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"Can you not _hear me?_" Hiccup cried desperately. For once, his mom had not come to step in. Hiccup was fighting this battle alone. But did she have to just sit at the table with her back to them and pretend she couldn't hear them?

"This is _serious_, son. When you carry this axe, you carry all of us with you. Which means you walk like us," he grabbed his son roughly and forced him to stand straight, "you talk like us, and you _think _like us. No more of…_this,_" he said, gesturing to his son.

"You just gestured to _all _of me," Hiccup pointed out in exasperation.

"Deal?"

"This conversation is feeling _very _one-sided!"

_"Deal?"_

Hiccup opened his mouth to protest one more time, but then he saw his mother looking at him. She nodded sadly once before turning back to her sewing. The fight was gone out of her for today. For now, it was back to listening to father.

Hiccup sighed. "Deal," he reluctantly agreed.

Stoick nodded in approval, shouldering a basket. "Good. Train hard. I'll be back…probably," he half-promised as he started toward the door.

"And I'll be here…maybe." Stoick turned to look at his wife.

"Goodbye, Val," he said. Valhallarama nodded once, not looking up from her sewing. Stoick's face fell for a moment before he composed himself again. "Listen to your mother, Hiccup." With a final slam, Stoick left the house once more. After a few moments, Val sighed, setting down her sewing. She ran a hand through her hair before looking at her son, still standing there with the axe.

"Hey, sweetie," she said. Her voice sounded weak and her smile, though genuine, was a weak one, too. "Did you have fun today?" His own mother hadn't even noticed that he had been gone from dawn to dusk.

He nodded. "Yeah. Sorry I came back so late."

Val shrugged. "Don't worry about it, Hiccup. You're a young boy, you like to explore, hang out with your friends. I know you can handle yourself out there." She looked at the fire, then back to her boy. "I guess I should try and find you something to eat."

"Don't worry about it, Mom. I'll just go down to the Hall and get something. I'll be back in a little while."

Val stood up and crossed the room, kissing her son on his forehead. "Night, Hiccup," she whispered. She took the axe from him, easily holding it in one hand, and opened the door for him. Wordlessly, Hiccup left into the dark of night to get his dinner. They had had a bad fight that day, he decided. Whereas his dad always seemed ready to fight to the death, his mom had grown tired of them. Over the years, she would tune out the verbal battles between father and son more and more. But they still fought every day and the fights had become even more intense than they had ever been before.

Hiccup stopped abruptly when he thought he heard movement. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, bracing himself for impact. In a moment, he was tackled to the ground. He waited a moment before opening his eyes again, only to see a very angry Astrid sitting on top of him.

_"Where were you?"_ she demanded. "You were gone _all day_. I was-" Astrid growled and got off of him, angrily shoving him away. She hugged her knees to her chest, contemplating whether or not to kill him slowly. Hiccup sat up and placed a hand on Astrid's shoulder.

"I'm sorry I worried you, okay?" Hiccup apologized. He stood up, holding a hand out to help Astrid up.

"You better have a damn good explanation for why you were gone all day," Astrid warned him as he helped her up. He didn't let go of her hand.

"I'll tell you all about it on the way to the Meade Hall," Hiccup promised. "Dad told me that I'm starting dragon training with you guys tomorrow morning."

Astrid shrugged. "Well I had been hoping all that time I spent training you wouldn't go completely to waste." Hiccup was now very nervous at what Astrid would say when he got around to telling her what had happened in the woods.

Hiccup sighed. "Well, Dad's gone, Mom's staying behind." He sighed again. "She looked kind of…relieved when Dad finally left."

Astrid gave Hiccup's hand a squeeze. "I'm sure she's just sick of the fighting and only wants a little time to…" she couldn't think of an excuse. "Maybe a little time apart will do them some good." Hiccup didn't say anything to that. His pessimism toward the situation was strong, but he didn't want to kill Astrid's optimism with it. It was the only think keeping him going most days.

"You want to talk about that dragon? The one you shot down?" Astrid asked, changing the subject. She looked over at Hiccup, noticing he looked rather nervous. "Hiccup?"

The boy gave a nervous laugh. "How about you let me have a last meal before I tell you what happened with the dragon?"


	10. Stupidity

**Part 3 in my AU story-within-a-story of HTTYD. Since somebody asked, I'll clarify: Astrid and Hiccup aren't a couple, they're best friends. But they're in that awkward transition stage between best friends and "I love you let's make some bay-behs nao." What? None of you have ever had that? **

**Somebody else also asked me to talk about Viking marriage and divorce:**

**Viking women had a LOT more power than other medieval women elsewhere in the world. If the husband wasn't treating his wife or the kids right or he was just a lazy asshole, it was very easy to divorce him. All she had to do was announce it twice, with witnesses. Once in the doorway, once by the couple's bedside. After which, the divorce was final. If the wife left the husband for good reason, she'd get all her property and possessions back. Kids would go with the mom, and older children would spend time between their houses. So hopefully that gives you a little more insight as to what Hiccup, Stoick, and Val are going through.**

**Val is not in this chapter. She will return next time. If I ever did turn this into a full-chapter story, there would be much more parental drama, but all these oneshots are intended to focus on Hiccup and Astrid so I'm still trying to stick to that while having her act as his moral support with all the crap going on his life.**

* * *

Hiccup let out a grunt of pain as he was shoved into the wall. Okay, maybe telling Astrid hadn't been the best plan. He also probably shouldn't have brought her back to the blacksmith stall to tell her. Too many weapons, not enough witnesses.

"You…did…_what?"_ Astrid hissed. She was keeping a rather tight grip on his shirt. "Are you _insane?_ Please tell me you're joking. Because if you are, it's _not funny._"

Hiccup cleared his throat. "I really wish I could tell you I was. But, unfortunately, I told you the truth of everything that happened today. Ow!" Astrid gave him another little shove, making his head hit the wall again.

"You mean to tell _me,"_ Astrid growled, and Hiccup was worried that her harsh glare might actually kill him before she did, "that _you_ become the first Viking to _ever _shoot down a Night Fury; the first to _ever _see one up close, and you _let it go?"_

"I know, Astrid! I know it's the dumbest thing I could have ever done, I-it's all messed up, I'm sorry!"

Astrid let go of him. "Damn right it's the dumbest thing you could have ever done! It's on a level of stupidity unknown and unseen on this island until now!" She raised her hands as if getting ready to hit him again. Hiccup flinched. She crossed them instead and turned away from him, scowling at all the sketches on the wall. "Why'd you do it?" she finally asked.

"Huh?" Hiccup said, dazed. There were only so many near death experiences one could handle in a single day. Astrid turned to glare at him.

"Why did you let the dragon go?" she asked, enunciating each syllable.

Hiccup opened his mouth to answer, but the words got caught in his throat. "I-it-just…I was…" he gave up and sighed. "I don't know the answer to that right now," he admitted.

Astrid's hard expression flickered to something between hurt and betrayal for a moment before she composed herself again. Wordlessly, she stomped off toward the door.

"You want me to walk you home?"

"No, thanks." Then she was gone.

* * *

She grabbed him and pulled him off to the side when dragon training was over with the next day. He had almost been burnt to a crisp by the Gronckle and she had been giving him the cold shoulder. It wasn't right to hold grudges with the frequency of dragon attacks in their village.

"Why aren't you dead?" she asked bluntly.

"Did you miss the part where Gobber got the Gronckle away just in time?" he drawled sarcastically.

"No! Not that! I meant how did you survive _yesterday?_ 'A dragon always goes for the kill.' So how are you still alive?" Hiccup shrugged, but she could tell he had been thinking about this, too.

"I don't know," he admitted. Astrid rolled her eyes and let go of him.

"I thought you were supposed to be _smart._" The corner of her mouth twitched, trying to fight a smile.

"Doesn't mean I always have the answer."


End file.
